A Sword That Won't Bend
To the tune of, "Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz."
Oh Queenies,
please buy me a sword that won't bend,
My friends all have broadswords, I have to pretend,
I can't fight a battle with a wobbly end,
So Queenies, please buy me a sword that won't bend. (D.
McFinn, 1099)
Oh
Queenies, please buy me a mace or an axe,
It's hard fighting goblin hordes when they attacks,
I once had some money, but it all went on tax,
So Queenies, please buy me a mace or an axe.
Oh
Queenies, please buy me a dagger so wee,
I want to kill werewolves, 'stead of them killing me,
If you make it silver, I'll slay them with glee,
So Queenies, please buy me a dagger so wee.
Oh Queenies,
please buy me a weapon of wood,
It's hard fighting Fey, and I am no good
at running away, and I don't think I should,
So Queenies, please buy me a weapon of wood.
Oh Queenies,
please buy me a small spikey shield,
I want me a dirk and a claymore to wield,
I'll smite all your foes and they surely will yield,
So Queenies, please buy me a small spikey shield
Oh Queenies,
please buy me a big spikey mace,
I'll batter Arcane and I'll smash in his face,
He'll run like a rabbit, but he'll not outpace...me,
So Queenies, please buy me a big spikey mace. (R.
McTwatem, 1099)
Oh Queenies,
please buy me a 2-handed sword,
I need a big one now I'm a lord,
I'll swing it hard and twat the drow horde
So Queenies, please buy me a 2-handed sword (M. McSnaga, 1099)
(More verses welcome ... feel free to send them in)